Part One: What I know now about being a Mom
Today I’ve asked 5 fellow Mamas to share their thoughts on Motherhood. The question I asked was, “How has your picture of motherhood changed from before you had children to now?” I hope you enjoy hearing their unique perspectives and drawing strength from women just like you — trying to do their best everyday. This topic will become a series and posted quarterly with different contributors. Let me know what you think today on instagram!
As girls we daydream of what motherhood will be like. As a little girl myself I remember seeing my mom iron while watching daytime soaps, and I thought, “This is what dreams are made of”! Not really recognizing all that she REALLY did during the day, how she really was my mom and what that meant. I had NO idea, but I knew I wanted to be just like her. When I got married, we knew we wanted to start a family. As the days turned into months, and months turned into years, I knew my “definition” of how I was going to become a mom was going to be different than what I dreamed of as a little girl. While facing infertility for more than 10 years, after doctors visits and procedures, it was the right thing for us to start looking into adoption. Having nieces and nephews adopted in my family and seeing how my sister and sister-in-law became moms, really made me realize that they weren’t any different. They weren’t any less of a woman, they were MOMS!
It was tough to accept the fact that I wouldn’t carry our babies, but I am so glad I did. I was still going to become a mom, I would still raise children, bring them home, tuck them in at night, share life lessons that I learned as a teenager, and love them no matter what. Sure, my daughters don’t have the blonde pigtails I had as a little girl that I always thought my girls would have. Truth is, they have better hair than I do! Yes my daughters don’t look just like me, but we have more of a mother/daughter love than I ever could have imagined. I quickly learned that it wasn’t necessary that I carry my children, they still have my heart and they still call me mom! And that’s all I dreamed of as a little girl.
Amy Twitty is a mother of 2 lovely girls and owner of LivandHope, a t-shirt line created to benefit those hoping to expand their family through adoption. She shares daily moments on instagram @livandhope and snapchat @amytwitty.
The moment when you become known as Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mere, Ma, Mãe etc., is when you know you’ve arrived. Although, depending on how “Mom” is said it could make you want to laugh, yell and/or cry. In spite of all the advice (and lectures) I received when I broke the news to family and friends, not one of them explained the complexity of motherhood to the extent of that which I know now. Every day and stage is an opportunity for learning and growth, both as mother and child. Mothers are an exceptionally resilient group of women, who sacrifice so much of themselves without second thought or complaint. This is why it is so important for us to continue to support one another, uplift & empower. Erase competition & support a fellow mama today!
Destiney Green is a mama who says she’s “majoring in motherhood”. She is also a contributor for the brand Rags to Raches. She shares daily adventures with her beautiful daughter on instagram @momcrushmonday and by all definitions is a “#bossmom”.
I always knew that I’d never be a “traditional” mom. While I find the concept of being pregnant and giving birth fascinating, I have always known that it wasn’t the way I would grow my family. I have had the feeling since I was small, even more so since doing a missions trip in Mozambique with an orphan placement program, that I would parent a child who already existed. When I met my husband and realized that he had a daughter, I had sort of an ah-ha moment. This was what I was meant to do! It was startling and comforting all at the same time. This was the child I was waiting to parent. I don’t know that I thought much about being a mother prior to her. And I definitely didn’t think a thing about being a bonus-parent. But had I pondered it at all, I’m sure that the reality would be VASTLY different than the fantasy. It is so blessedly difficult. Another woman’s child calls me “mommy” and as much of an honor as that is, it’s also really stinking hard. While we are watching her grow and learn and really come into her own, we are also always faced with having to say goodbye. Step-parenting is wonderful and I LOVE her, but oy! It’s not for sissies!